Dear (soon to be ex) friends,

I hereby serve notice of the termination of our friendship on the grounds of your terrible life advice and general encouragement in making this year even more ridiculous than it already has been.

Because you know what? I’ve only been home from Gambia a few weeks, I’ve only just remembered how to function here, I haven’t even been able to wear all my fun summer dresses and now I AM GOING TO ASIA IN NINE DAYS. I already went to the Lake District this year, is that not travel  enough?!

Apparently not one of you had sense enough to tell me to stay at home. WHY ARE YOU ALL SUCH ENABLERS?! Stop encouraging this freewheeling, I’ll make a plan when I make a plan lifestyle. IT IS NOT GOOD FOR ME.

You know what is good? Stability. Routine. Schedules. Have you not seen Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? EVEN SCIENCE TELLS ME YOUR ADVICE IS ALL WRONG.

You no longer have the right to live vicariously through my questionable life choices that you have encouraged. IT’S OVER (though I’ll hopefully be updating this hallowed space so hang tight, you just might get to yet).

Not I am not freaking out in the slightest. Whatever gives you that impression?! I AM CLEARLY EMOTIONALLY STABLE AND WELL ABLE TO HANDLE MY EVER-GROWING 'GETTING READY TO GO TO ASIA' TO-DO LIST.

Whatevs, see you losers in November.

P.S. Sister, you are obvs exempt from this because you are still Chief Hater and have in no way, shape or form, encouraged this endeavour. 5 points to you.