Dearest Reader,

This is it. I write from my deathbed. I don’t know if I’ll make it to tomorrow. EVERYTHING HURTS. I'm sorry but 50-year-old Rachel the Wild Hippy with Flowers in Her Hair will never invite you over for dinner.

And why? Because I was brave/foolish enough (it’s a fine line) to go for a run in the rain, the day after I actually did some Proper Exercise for the first time this year/since Christmas/since November/since my training buddy ditched me and my motivation and enthusiasm took a hike and I was ill and I was retreating and it snowed and I had to go to Nandos/brunch/lunch/drinks/dinner/party.

Such unfortunate timing as during yesterday’s Proper Exercise gym class/hour of torture I had an epiphany:

Maybe abiding applies to health too - what would it look to like to try and abide in health

Such a shame I realised this the day before my unfortunate and tragic early demise. Isn’t it ironic? But lucky for you, I have just about enough time left to impart my wisdom so you can LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES.

I’m kinda nervous to write about health – totes unqualified in every way and totes aware of the shame, misdirection and lies that surround.  BUT NOW I’M ON MY DEATHBED SO I’VE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE. And if you massively disagree with what I say I give you my permission to protest at my funeral – amusing placards actively encouraged.

I'm not talking about fixing all our health problems. I'm not talking about switching up our whole life tomorrow. But I do mean the incremental changes that add up over a week-month-year-lifetime.

ABIDE IN HEALTH Y’ALL. Exercise regularly, eat less rubbish and more good stuff, drink some water and get enough sleep. Life circumstances, allergies, work, kids, underlying health complications… there are a million and five things influencing what this looks like for each of us – you do you. And for some of us, abiding in health will even include the joy of actually getting round to going for a smear test.

ABIDE IN HEALTH Y’ALL. What one thing could you do tomorrow?

Anyways, ‘tis has been a delight and joy to share life with such excellent and admirable hobbits readers. I don’t know half of you as well as I should like (and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve). I regret to announce this is the end… I bid you all a very fond farewell.

See you at the Pearly Gates,

Rachel  x x

P.S. Please tell my mother I want to be buried in my purple coat, Giant Heels and my Most Beautiful of Them All* £4 dress from H&M.

*strangers literally walk up to me to say how amazing this dress is. I kid you not, an actual IRL quote: “That dress is everything I want in life.” Pro Tip: H&M sales are The One.